flamestate's Xanga

the comeback

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 22:37:00 GMT

well hello everyone. or rather, no one. i'm guessing that my father will be the only person to read this, unless he decides to pass it on to my mother. but i can't imagine anyone else still checking xanga. most of my xanga friends have either stopped blogging or moved on to some other blog site. i can't blame them for that either. xanga seems to have become incredibly muddled with all kinds of random junk everywhere. pretty lame, but it's still blog home for me, so i'm staying put for now.

anyhoo, i'd say that we can get to the point now, but as was always the case with my blogs, there isn't one. i'm at starbucks in wheatridge waiting for ali to get done with dance. i've exhausted all of my "time-wasters" and am now sitting bored with a half hour left to burn. it's ridiculous that i have the world at my fingertips and still can't seem to find anything that will hold my attention. i'm finally starting to feel cursed by the blessing of technology. about time.

so, i'm sitting in starbucks and there's a couple meeting a the table next to me with what seems to be their wedding planner. i think i heard (i'm not certain because because ol' benny goodman and his band were blaring away in my ear) that their budget for the wedding was "around $15,000". now, it's very true that i'm a miser, especially when weddings are concerned, but i just don't understand why anyone would want to spend that much money on their wedding. i guess for women (girls) it's supposed to be something that they dream about all their lives and this huge deal. even with that in mind, accompanied by the nagging divorce statistics that i don't actually know, that just seems like too much money. especially when you think about the fact that the guests are generally expected to bring gifts for the newlyweds. why are they bringing gifts? because they're trying to help out a new couple that doesn't have a lot of "essentials" and could use some help getting started? if that's really the case, which we all know isn't true, then why is the couple spending so much money on the ceremony? couldn't they just use the money that they were going to spend on the ceremony to buy some essentials themselves? or, better yet, why not use the money to put a down payment on a home somewhere? or, if you really don't want to be "responsible" with it, blow it on the honeymoon!! as my mom has repeated more times than i can even remember (don't be insulted mom, it totally sunk in with me) "hot dogs and tiki torches in the backyard." that's my plan. at least for the reception.

i realized while typing it, that it was incredibly cynical of me to even mention the divorce statistics nonsense. that's such a terrible way to look at marriage. it's like when people talk about never wanting to get a significant other's name tattooed on themselves. i can understand that if we're talking about a boyfriend or girlfriend, but when we're talking about a husband or wife, there's no reason not to do it. you've got to give yourself to that person with no reservations or it's no good. it's not really a marriage.

my soapbox is starting to creak and i'm running short on time, so i'm getting down.

talk soon. :)

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 06:48:41 GMT

hey guys. i just wanted to let you know that i set up a site where people can buy some of my pictures. i'm still playing with some of the settings, but you should go check it out. click on some of the pictures, so i feel like people are looking at my pictures. :)

ff photoworks

hope all is well.

done.

just in cases...

Thu, 15 May 2008 05:30:16 GMT

in case anyone's interested, i put up some "new" pictures on my flickr site. enjoy.

done.

boy howdy!

Sat, 10 May 2008 08:55:06 GMT

i have no idea what that title means. well, actually, i know that it means absolutely nothing. just something that came to mind right after i clicked on the "new weblog post" (or whatever it is that it actually says), so i figured i'd throw it in there. right. awesome.

so, it's 3:30 in the a.m. right now. not really sure why i'm still up. i got home late from hanging out with will in the mcdonald's in a the 24 hour wal-mart where we met after i left madcap. funny that i went to a mcdonald's in a wal-mart, seeing as how those might be two of my least favorite indoor locations. well, whatever. anyway, i got started looking through my old blogs and couldn't seem to stop. it's funny how i used to be able to make a complete lack of ideas and relevant thoughts turn into a gigantor post a year ago and now i can't seem to string more than 20 words together at a time. actually, not so much funny as it is depressing. in fact, i might cry a bit. hold on.

...

ok, i'm done.

this post sucks. my dad was right. after that last post i did a while back about the jackhoohoo (that's a word i just made up - try using it sometime, you'll love it) on wheel of fortune who i may or may not have hated and if i did end up hating him, it was completely justified because he totally made it way too easy to hate him, which means that really had no choice to do so, that only being relevant, of course, if i did end up hating him, which i may or may not have done. anyway, after that post he told me that it wasn't my best work. then he proceeded to point out all the things in it which weren't very good. then he told me about how after i'd started my blog, he'd had big hopes for me as a writer. he thought i'd be able to start writing for prominent magazines and journals and papers and whatever else writers do with their words. he told me how he'd finally had a reason to be proud of his red-headed jackhoohoo (crazy he used my made-up word before i even made it up - dad's are superheroes, they can do that kind of stuff) of a son. then he told me how all of it came crashing down that fateful night when he put on his little reading spectacles over his bifocals and focused his eyes on my words up on the screen. he said he scrolled up and down, wondering if this was all i'd written and trying to figure out if it was really my words he was reading. he said that he kept reloading the page, hoping that the words would change and his heart would rise from the mire that my new post had plunged it into. he then went into very grim detail about how he would've rather had limbs torn from his body than ingesting the words i'd plagued the world with that day.

i won't lie to you.

that wasn't very easy to hear.

but he was right.

you were right dad.

i'm sorry.

to you.

and to the world.

...

...

right. so i think that might be all i've got for tonight. i suppose i should probably go about getting some sleep. i've been inexplicably exhausted every afternoon this week. i wonder if it has anything to do with the staying up till the wee hours of the morning and then sleeping late into the day.

by the way. do you think that a sentence that starts with "i wonder" should have a question mark at the end? people often put a question mark at the end of those types of sentences and i'm quite convinced that that's somewhere a question mark just doesn't belong.

wow, this post is awful.

why'd you read it? are you still reading? seriously? just a glutton for punishment or what? seriously, i can't believe that you haven't stopped reading yet. stop it. stop now. quit reading this. oh my goodness, i can't believe that you're still reading. here, how about this? i'll give you 1 million dollars if you stopped reading when i told you to stop reading the first time. ah ha! now i'll bet you were listening to me before. i tried to get you to stop, but you were just too stubborn. wouldn't listen to ol' jt. now it's cost you a million buckaroos. well, just a million bucks. not buckaroos, cause i'm pretty sure a buckaroo is some sort of a cowboy type figure and i'm not sure where i'd go about getting a million of those to give you anyway. 'course i don't know where i'd get a million bucks for you either, but for some reason a million buckaroos is just much more absurd than a million bucks.

oh my...

end.

oh, you know...

Thu, 01 May 2008 02:27:48 GMT

s - well, i guess that makes 4 of us that are still around. and if you count my parents, that's six. :) we're just a happy little family here, aren't we. well, i supposed that jake said he wasn't actually around still, so that knocks our number back down to five. but five's not a bad number. this is stupid.

s - it's hard to blog nowadays. not sure if i've become too self-conscious or my personality's just changed, but it just seems like any time i try to blog as of late, i end up wanting to delete it. oh, who knows? and who cares? i guess there are only five people who might. well, maybe only four, 'cause i'm pretty sure i don't. might be because i'm not really sure what it is that i'm talking about anymore. oh well. who cares...?

s - anyway, i think i'm mean. i like to make fun of people. generally, i prefer to make fun of people i don't know. usually they're on tv. speaking of, there's some annoying kid on the college week of wheel of fortune. he makes me feel like i'm being tortured for imformation while i'm watching. and it's so bad that i just want to give up whatever information i have, but i don't know what that information is. (friends fans, you know that i pretty much stole this from chandler's monologue about monica's back rubs. but that's ok. i'm fine with it. i'm a stealer. i stole. *pick up on the ross in that one?*) anyway, this guy makes me want to hate him, but i know that i shouldn't, so i'm trying not to, but i'm still so tempted to. that was an attempt at one of those rants i used to throw in every once in a while. it didn't seem to go so well. i just told my dad that i hate him. (him being the boy on tv, not my dad.) so, i guess that rant that i tried to have with myself that didn't go quite as well as i wanted it to turned out to be somewhat worthless in that i ended up hating that guy that i was trying not to hate because i knew that i shouldn't hate him even though i really feel like he earned my hatred by doing nothing past just being his annoying self. anyway, annoying-self-hated boy just won. he's going to the bonus round. hopefully it'll be similar to the bonus round that chris farley made it to on the japanese game show back in the day. "kwa ki ser pi ni ku!" if you haven't seen it, look it up. it's weird. but funny too. and a little awkward. but mostly funny.

ps - i think i hate annoying self because he's better than i am at wheel of fortune. holy cow. he must've been cheating on some of those. but i think i also hate him because he makes it so easy. because he's hatable. hateable? nope, must be hatable.

pps - why is it that we only label the portions of text that come after the main portion of text? like these two. i called them ps and pps. i think we all know that these mean post script and post post script, indicating that they come after the script and after the script that comes after the script. so, we label these ones, but why don't we label the main script. i think i'd like to know when i'm reading something what is script and what is just something that's coming after the script. i'm going to start labeling them. i'm going to do it right now. there. that's much better. now i really feel like i know what's going on as i'm reading. man, this is a long pps. it's longer than the ps. my pps is longer than my ps and is dangerously close to becoming as long as some of my s. is this going to devalue my s at all? what about my ps? how's it going to feel when it realizes that pps put it to shame? now ps just became the thin layer separating the larger s and pps. poor little ps. maybe i'll add a ppps, just to make it feel better.

ppps - this is to make ps feel better.

pppps - is there such a thing as pre script? wouldn't that be a ps as well? how would we tell them apart? what if all the sections got mixed up and jostled around and then when we went to put them back in order again we couldn't figure out if the ps and pps and all the other p-type-ses were in the right spots!? pre or post?! how would we know?! that's a frightening thought. that settles it then. no pre-ses. just the posts.

ppppps - now that i've started the p-type-ses, can i go back to the regular s? or do i have to just keep doing the p-type-ses if i want to say anything? rats. i should've thought about this before i started the p-type-ses. boo. guess i'm done then.

pppppps - done.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 05:14:04 GMT

i'm still here.

is anyone else?

starting that "grumpy old man" thing a little early...

Mon, 11 Feb 2008 05:07:25 GMT

i tore this page out of my diary. i didn't like it. but then i remember that i wanted to leave the ps part in there. so i tore it off the other page, got some scotch tape and stuck it to a new page. it's down there.

down a little further...

little bit more...

ps - i was an extra in a movie last week. it was fantastic. incredibly anti-glamourous (arrive at 7:30, sit and wait till 11:30, close a locker and walk through a doorway 8 times, go home), but it was so great just to get to be on the set of a movie and experience how everything works. fun stuff.

tough day

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 05:10:41 GMT

so, heath ledger died today. it's so weird. i keep hoping that they're going to realize that it was someone else. or that somehow he wasn't actually dead - like juliet in romeo and juliet. i almost cried when i watched the report on tmz (yes, i watched tmz, but only because i wanted to see if they would handle the whole thing tastefully...which they did...surprisingly). i can't figure out why it's affecting me so much.

blah.

done.

not so much

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 05:39:37 GMT

well, i added one photo to my flickr site. it's not really anything too special, but it's all i had on my camera. i'll have to try to get to taking some more pictures. it's been a long time since i've really been out to take any.

so, i know the writers' strike stinks, because all the shows we like are being put on hold and whatnot, but i've really enjoyed watching some of the really old jay leno episodes. i saw one with julia roberts promoting...man, i can't remember. something old. i saw tom hanks promoting a league of their own. mel gibson talking about braveheart. good stuff...maynard.

don't ask.

;)

ok, i think that might be all i've got for tonight. i'm getting up uber early to go to the men's breakfast (yes, they let me come to the men's breakfast) with my pop. probably should've been asleep an hour ago. oh well. never been very smart. :)

done.

big plans

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 07:06:01 GMT

no followthrough. as usual. :)

i keep wanting to blog, but there are two main things that seem to be holding me back. the first isn't really a big one, but it's definitely a factor. time. i'm always busy at night, so by the time i get home, it's late and i need to get to bed. the second one is much more impactful (my computer says that's not a word...it totally is...well, it is now anyway). the second one is the fact that i have nothing to blog about. well, that's somewhat less than accurate. i actually have plenty to blog about, but i just don't feel like i have the words to use to do so. i don't know. perhaps after a few more short blogs, i can once again create giant blogs that make andy glance at and then pass over.

i'm not sure what i'm talking about anymore and i'm incredibly tired. damn the 10 hours days!

done.

ps - i hate the drive to colorado springs. you have my utmost respect mike. for that and for various other reasons.